I have heard that new ads are out and insinuating people will somehow feel richer merely by inhaling mysterious blends of chemicals. Please don’t be fooled. Seriously.
“Unstopables … will add an indulgent level of luxurious scent to every load of your laundry. Add as much as you wish for up to 12 weeks* of scent enhancement so you can smell like the lifestyle you—and your wardrobe—deserve.”
They fail to mention that your neighbors who get migraines may think that the “scent enhancement” emanating from your dryer vent (which was designed to emit moisture, not chemicals) is not such a good thing for them, their asthmatic children, or for their aging parents who have lung disease and whose window is yards from your vent.
Apparently we also don’t deserve to know what we’d be inhaling if we use these things! P&G will only refer us to the self-regulated fragrance industry’s voluntarily disclosed list of over 3000 ingredients, most of which are petroleum derived. (Scroll down for a PDF of the list, which took quite a bit of sleuthing around their other website to find).
I’ve designed a few new ads for them, simplifying some of their marketing messages into plain English for you :
There’s more, much more…
Those chemicals include, among other things, known carcinogens, endocrine disruptors (chemicals that mess with your hormones), and neurotoxins, plus the concoctions can have the same effects on some people as (illegal) drugs have. They can cause immediate short term and /or long lasting future health harm to anyone who is exposed to them, and then, because they’re designed to be long-lasting, using special chemicals for the job, they can’t be removed from many of the things they’ve come in contact with.
Why a company thinks it’s ok to do this to people and environments is beyond me.
Inhaling their chemicals will (according to them)
also make you
“experience a shimmer that makes you think you have a seamstress”
What do they mean by that? Delusions? Hallucinations?
and you will
“feel so lush you’ll forget you have kids”
Doesn’t part of being a parent mean you need to remember to look after your children?
Don’t child protection services remove kids from (lushes) who forget they have kids?
According to the advertising, the product also
“leaves your laundered with a sweet, flowery exuberance that exubers for up to 12 weeks*. So much so, that you’ll start making up new words.”
(because your brain is so neurologically impaired that you can’t get the right words or sentences out – exactly what every parent wants their kids to experience too, right?)
Why pay money for expensive & illegal drugs when you can go to Walmart for these?
If you inhale these chemical fumes you can just forget your problems and be able to hallucinate (if you’re lucky and can focus that long) that you
“transform your room into a cathedral of haute couture, avant-garde, and other assorted fancy pants terms of the nouveau riche.”
(I didn’t make that up, they did – are you feeling it yet?)
The product chemicals also apparently
“give you the smell of the lifestyle you deserve.”
(Q: What does a hospital smell like? A: The lifestyle you’ll get)
But, fear not if you get their candles, because
“All it takes is one tiny flame to make you famous. Or at least, you will feel famous as you bathe the room in gloriously airy undertones and vibrant layers that last for hours upon hours. If this isn’t how fame feels it is definitely how it smells.”
(Sounding more and more like drug induced hallucinations to me)
Maybe so you can imagine that the hospital and health care bills will be paid for as you try to deal with all the new health problems you and your family have developed.
And possibly because you are in a drug induced haze,
their candles “will make any room feel like the only room on the floor.”
(too bad they won’t help in the hospital room you’ll share with at least 3 other people)
“With one capful or one shake, your dreams will become more than a memory. They will become sensory, filled with … undertones that last up to 12 weeks*. Once you gourmand, you never go back.”
Because the chemical residues and brain damage can be irreversible!
“Price, like your taste, will vary.”
(and healthcare costs are not included)
Don’t forget their long lasting effects are on future generations too
Did you know our bodies were not designed to be inhaling and absorbing petrochemicals?
You may also need to cut your hair off, should you suddenly realize you are becoming disabled by the fumes. Maybe you like the look of buzz cuts (with the brain buzz)?
One has to wonder what P&G is thinking by designing products with fragrance chemicals that cannot be removed. Surely they are not oblivious to the fact that more and more people are becoming allergic to, or even disabled by these products, and that fragrance-free policies are being enacted to protect people’s health and abilities?
If people use these products, there’s absolutely no way they can show up to work fragrance-free, or to the child’s fragrance-free daycare or school, or to church, as the chemicals will be embedded in all clothing, in hair and pores, and in everything else that has been in the unfortunate home (like shoes, purses, papers, books, food, and pets)
For those of us who are disabled by toxic chemicals, the products can create permanent barriers to access wherever their 1st, 2nd, or 3rd hand scent trails are deposited.
Should “users” or their children also become “sensitized” to, or otherwise adversely affected by the pollutants, there’s a good possibility they they will have to move from their now fragrance-chemical-contaminated home, discard all of their now contaminated possessions, and buy all new clothing and furnishings, because the unstoppable residues cannot be removed. (I have yet to see anyone selling an effective fragrance-chemical removal product). And good luck finding places to move to that aren’t also polluted.
When companies are so profit driven as to release products like these with no regard whatsoever to the health and well-being of their customers and all others who are subjected to the fumes, and they are allowed to get away with it because they have spent millions lobbying government regulators, I fear for the future. Humans will not survive being polluted like this for long. Nor will any other species who have the misfortune to eat the food, breathe the air, or drink the water this stuff gets into.
It’s time to get real.
It’s good for you. It’s good for me.