Daily Archives: May 8, 2014

How to Lose All Your Friends

By Candy Martin

1) Firstly get an illness/disease that no one has ever heard of. As everyone knows everything about every disease that exists, what you have can’t possibly be true or real as they have never heard of it.

2) Try to explain your illness to your friends. They still won’t believe you because they still haven’t heard of it, and frankly your explanation bores them.

3) Try to give a clearer explanation, because YOU REALLY WANT THEIR UNDERSTANDING. Now you will be accused of complaining or of being negative because you have talked about your illness for more than 1 minute.

why aren't you listeningI’m telling you, the earth is not flat!

4) Try to explain why their suggestions to get well aren’t feasible. Now you’re just being difficult and are not worth “helping” any more. Despite knowing nothing about your illness they “know’’ that exercise will help, getting out more will help, eating magic marshmallows will help etc etc. (Even if your Dr advises against it)

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