By Candy Martin
1) Firstly get an illness/disease that no one has ever heard of. As everyone knows everything about every disease that exists, what you have can’t possibly be true or real as they have never heard of it.
2) Try to explain your illness to your friends. They still won’t believe you because they still haven’t heard of it, and frankly your explanation bores them.
3) Try to give a clearer explanation, because YOU REALLY WANT THEIR UNDERSTANDING. Now you will be accused of complaining or of being negative because you have talked about your illness for more than 1 minute.
4) Try to explain why their suggestions to get well aren’t feasible. Now you’re just being difficult and are not worth “helping” any more. Despite knowing nothing about your illness they “know’’ that exercise will help, getting out more will help, eating magic marshmallows will help etc etc. (Even if your Dr advises against it)
5) Smile and sound cheerful when they speak to you. Because if you can manage that for a few minutes you must be fine the rest of the time.
6) Don’t phone people for a while. You must be better and out having fun because they haven’t heard from you.
7) Make sure the skin on your face looks good. This is a dead giveaway that you are faking it and can’t possibly be ill as your facial skin reflects everything going on in your body (what – it doesn’t??)
8) Give them something to read on your illness. They won’t read it, and it will just annoy them to have received it.
9) Make some jokes. This just confirms you aren’t sick, and indeed probably have a mental illness.
10) Stay in bed because you are too dizzy to stand for long without feeling nauseous, and can’t walk in a straight line. This just proves you are lazy and are not trying.”
Thank you Candy.
I hope and pray that one day all people will have love in their hearts and be able to care for and be friends with those of us who have lost our health and many of our abilities.
In the meantime, if you had or still have a friend with a chronic illness, please check out
What Those With Chronic Pain or Illness DO Want to Hear
Here’s what the chronically ill wish you’d say to them.